September 05, 2012

The Best Marriage Advice: #5

The advice that was sent to me via email, Facebook and Twitter
Over the next few days I will be revealing the top 5 pieces of wedding advice I have received via email, Twitter and Facebook (#1 being the most important). But before I commence the countdown, allow me to summarize the motivation for writings these posts, and the process I went about to analyze the data.

Sarah and I have been married for a little over a year.  A week before we were to celebrate our one-year anniversary we attended a friend's wedding. Marriage was on my mind. As we left the wedding I began to wonder, "What counsel or advice would I give to these newlyweds?" Then I started to think, I wonder what friends and family would say is the best advice they received. Ipso facto, we have these blog posts.

Now for the word on the data. I received 42 pieces of unique wedding advice ("unique" meaning it came from a different person). To organize the information I created five categories based on what seemed to be the most popular responses:

  • Faith
  • Arguing
  • Serving
  • Fun
  • Faith

I then highlighted the comment in blue if a male submitted it and orange for females. 38% of the feedback I received was from men (logically, 62% came from woman). Women submitted a majority of comments for every category aside from faith, and were a high majority in the categories of serving, arguing and fun.

 In order to fairly and truly decide the "Top 5" I then assigned the following point system to the figures:

  • 10 Points if both a male and female submit the same piece of advice
  • 5 Points for every time the advice was repeated
  • 3 Points if it appears in one of the two most popular categories (serving or arguing)
  • 5 Points if the advice offers a unique and helpful perspective 
  • 5 Points if the person has been married for more than 13 years
  • 13 Points if I find the advice funny and/or creative

 If you are thinking, "This point system seems kind of arbitrary like Whose Line is It Anyway?" you are mostly correct; but there is a loose structure.  Some of the advice will be summaries of several different entries if I determined they were close enough in content to combine.

So with further ado...

A typical Krass breakfast



#5. Husbands should make, prepare or do something for their wife every day (18 Points) 
Keith in Massachusetts


If you are wondering, yes I am "Keith in Massachusetts." It's my blog, so I get the first word. If you don't like it...tough noogies.

I strongly believe that the husband (or if the husband does all the cooking, the wife) needs to make, prepare or clean something for his wife every day. Sarah and I have settled into the rhythm of me making our breakfast in the morning. This isn't too toot my own horn. Actually, Sarah does A MAJORITY of the cooking and cleaning but I think it is incredibly important for the male to do something each day. I realize certain work schedules may not allow for the husband (or wife) to cook an entire meal, but you can't convince me that you/we don't have time to make the morning coffee, fold the laundry (I loath folding laundry) or vacuum a room or two. If you are still that crunched for time, make your wife's lunch the night before (I've never done this. I just convicted myself...).

A friend once told me (before I was married) that you realize how selfish you are when you get married. I totally agree. I often don't feel like making Sarah's breakfast in the morning but this simple act often snaps things back into an appropriate perspective (i.e. you're not that important Keith).

Hint for #4 ~ It came from the land of peach muffins

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